If you plan to make a movie that has anything at all to do with anything and you want a lot of young purchasing units to watch it, we suggest you insert a gratuitous shower scene. The movie Psycho had a shower scene. The original Carrie had a shower scene, too, and in fact that shower scene was something of a metaphor for the one in Psycho, and the truth is that neither of those shower scenes were particularly gratuitous. Alfred Hitchcock, who directed Psycho, took a lot of criticism for the Janet Leigh hacking vignette, yet he maintained that it was essential to the integrity of his film.
Other, albeit less famous, films remembered at least as much for their shower scenes as for anything else include Heavy Rain, Hollow Man, When Will I Be Loved, Blow Out, Gia, Best Friends, Dressed to Kill, Body Double, oh, the list goes on. The point is that these inserted moments actually do guarantee that a few more--quite a few--people will see your movie than if you make the same exact film without one.
Why not bring this same concept into the otherwise mundane world of national American politics? Sure, I know some of you out there have been hoping for a wet and naked glimpse of Michele Bachmann--and for reasons of which I will not speculate. But I'm talking about the entire field: Barack, Newt, Rick, Rick, Mitt, Ron, Jon, plus the supporting third party cast of Darcy Richardson, Vermin Supreme, Jill Stein, Peta Lindsay, Tiffany Briscoe, and, of course, the Naked Cowboy. Hmmm. I actually wouldn't mind seeing Peta in a shower scene, but that might be better left unsaid.
The only reason this issue presents itself is that American politics is boring and it is boring for a reason: The people we see running for president have very little impact on our day-to-day lives. They are actors, for the most part, and not very good actors at that. The people who really do exert control over our lives do so from more of an economic foundation than from an overtly political one. So, for instance, the people who own the world's largest corporations and the heads of the International Monetary Fund and World Bank might as well be the financial backers of all the major U.S. presidential and congressional candidates. The way it could work is that the business leaders could essentially hold with the Republican viewpoint. In fact, they could create the Republican ideology. Those business leaders could enjoy themselves when the Republicans are in the majority and they could enjoy themselves when they are in the minority. When in the majority, the businessmen and women could tell the Republicans to support things that favor big business. When in the minority, they could tell the Democrats not to push too hard against the rebel Republicans so that the opposition party actually remains in power even when it loses. Gee, now that I think of it, perhaps I should not have made this suggestion in print. After all, I would hate to see that happen in reality.
Another thought I had is that car chase scenes could be useful in the political commercials. In fact, the type of automobile one associates with a particular candidate could give some insight into our expectations for that person. I picture Rick Perry in a 1970 Dodge Charger, something like the one in the thoroughly gratuitous (and nonetheless thrilling) Dirty Mary and Crazy Larry. Newt Gingrich would drive an American car, of course, probably a reliable Cadillac. Romney ads would feature a Lexus. Santorum would be driving an old Volkswagen Beetle, probably with a swastika on the hood. Somehow I imagine Ron Paul behind the wheel of a Hummer, possibly armed to the teeth. Michele Bachmann would ride in the backseat of an AMC Gremlin, one driven by her husband as chauffeur. Huntsman would command a train to nowhere.
Other gimmicks could really spice things up. Corporate endorsements (The British Petroleum Ron Paul Comedy Hour!), world tours (Bachmann to Iran: "Treat me like a Jew!"), golf tournaments, pool parties: there is really no end to it. All the campaign managers need to remember is to treat their candidates like cheap B-grade movie actors. Hey, it was good enough for Reagan.
There are 533,277 sites with a better three-month global Alexa traffic rank than Philropost.blogspot.com. The site is relatively popular among users in the cities of Idaho Falls-Pocatello (where it is ranked #141) and Phoenix (#5,004). The site's visitors view an average of 20.0 unique pages per day. About 91% of its visitors are in the US, where it has attained a traffic rank of 69,343.
Other, albeit less famous, films remembered at least as much for their shower scenes as for anything else include Heavy Rain, Hollow Man, When Will I Be Loved, Blow Out, Gia, Best Friends, Dressed to Kill, Body Double, oh, the list goes on. The point is that these inserted moments actually do guarantee that a few more--quite a few--people will see your movie than if you make the same exact film without one.
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| Cruel Intentions 2 |
The only reason this issue presents itself is that American politics is boring and it is boring for a reason: The people we see running for president have very little impact on our day-to-day lives. They are actors, for the most part, and not very good actors at that. The people who really do exert control over our lives do so from more of an economic foundation than from an overtly political one. So, for instance, the people who own the world's largest corporations and the heads of the International Monetary Fund and World Bank might as well be the financial backers of all the major U.S. presidential and congressional candidates. The way it could work is that the business leaders could essentially hold with the Republican viewpoint. In fact, they could create the Republican ideology. Those business leaders could enjoy themselves when the Republicans are in the majority and they could enjoy themselves when they are in the minority. When in the majority, the businessmen and women could tell the Republicans to support things that favor big business. When in the minority, they could tell the Democrats not to push too hard against the rebel Republicans so that the opposition party actually remains in power even when it loses. Gee, now that I think of it, perhaps I should not have made this suggestion in print. After all, I would hate to see that happen in reality.
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| Peta Lindsay |
Other gimmicks could really spice things up. Corporate endorsements (The British Petroleum Ron Paul Comedy Hour!), world tours (Bachmann to Iran: "Treat me like a Jew!"), golf tournaments, pool parties: there is really no end to it. All the campaign managers need to remember is to treat their candidates like cheap B-grade movie actors. Hey, it was good enough for Reagan.
There are 533,277 sites with a better three-month global Alexa traffic rank than Philropost.blogspot.com. The site is relatively popular among users in the cities of Idaho Falls-Pocatello (where it is ranked #141) and Phoenix (#5,004). The site's visitors view an average of 20.0 unique pages per day. About 91% of its visitors are in the US, where it has attained a traffic rank of 69,343.
North Korea Restores Order to Kim Funeral With Photoshop
- http://news.yahoo.com/north-korea-restores-order-kim-funeral-photoshop...The funeral procession for Kim Jong-Il was carried out with military precision and when a handful of dawdlers messed up those regimented lines, they were eliminated. From the photo, that is. | A photo released by the North Korea's state news agency and transmitted by the Germany-based European Pressphoto Agency is slightly different from a photo taken at nearly the identical moment and released by Japanese agency Kyodo News.news.yahoo.com
- The Worst of What Were They Thinking?! Photos
http://omg.yahoo.com/photos/the-worst-of-what-were-they-thinking-5468/See which stars blow out candles on December 30 | View Gallery | Celebs including Marcia Cross and Elle Macpherson take their kids on some adventures over the Christmas … | View Gallery | Plenty of faces from TV shows and movies of the past re-emerged in 2011, making Yahoo!'s "Where Are They … | View Gallery | So THAT'S where my 70s shag rug went! Thanks Yahoo! | I think she's looking alittle rough around the edges, and we all know she hasn't a clue. | Lot's of money doesn't help if you have poor taste.omg.yahoo.com - Michael Jordan gets engaged to model girlfriend Yvette Prieto
http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/ball_dont_lie/post/Michael-Jordan-get...Thu Dec 29 02:50pm EST | By Matt Ryan | Michael Jordan is officially off the market, again. | The NBA legend is reportedly engaged to longtime girlfriend and Cuban-born model Yvette Prieto. The couple has been dating for more than three years. | A Jordan spokeswoman first confirmed the news to WCNC in Charlotte, NC, that he popped the question on Christmas. Prieto is 32 years old, while Jordan is 48. | [Related: Photos of M.J., fiancee Yvette Prieto] | This would be Jordan's second marriage.sports.yahoo.com - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/29/north-korea-giant-man_n_11751...In a sea of indistinguishable onlookers clad in black with their backs turned to the camera, one man stood out at Kim Jong Il's funeral. The Associated Press released a photo of the procession in North Korea, and a hawk-eyed Reddit contributor was quick to point out an anomaly in the otherwise uniform crowd of mourners.www.huffingtonpost.com
- http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/45817406/ns/today-today_people/t/man-div...Man, 99, divorcing wife of 77 years over affair in the 1940s - TODAY People - TODAY.com Headline Headline msn msnbc.com Today People People Latest show Most popular Our faves Loading... People Entertainment Food Health Money Travel Books Pets Parenting Style KLG & Hoda Blogs allDAY Animal Tracks Bites The Clicker Digital Life Hip2Save Life Inc.today.msnbc.msn.com
- Report: Mayweather Jr. bet $1 million on Brady over Tebow?
http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/Floyd-Mayweather-Jr-Tim-Tebow-Tom-B...For a guy headed to jail to begin a three-month jail term, Floyd Mayweather Jr. has had a lot to smile about this month. | According to the Las Vegas Review-Journal, Mayweather placed a $1 million bet in Vegas that Tom Brady's New England Patriots would beat Tim Tebow's Denver Broncos. | The famous boxer, known for making (and tweeting) some of his big-money bets, reportedly made the wager with the M Resort.msn.foxsports.com - My Take: The 3 biggest biblical misconceptions – CNN Belief Blog
http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/12/29/my-take-the-3-biggest-biblica...My Take: The 3 biggest biblical misconceptions – CNN Belief Blog - CNN.com Blogs CNN Belief Blog RSS Feed CNN Belief Blog » My Take: The 3 biggest biblical misconceptions Comments Feed RSD 'Belief 'Russian CNN Belief Blog WordPress.com Home | Video | NewsPulse | U.S.religion.blogs.cnn.com - http://scores.espn.go.com/ncf/boxscore?gameId=313630239NCAA College Football Box Score | 7:44 3rd Qtr | (9-3, 6-3 Big 12) | Coverage: ESPN/Watch Live | 9:00 PM ET, December 29, 2011 | Alamodome, SAN ANTONIO, TX | TD | 11:14 | Robert Griffin III pass complete to Kendall Wright for 11 yards for a TOUCHDOWN. Aaron Jones extra point GOOD. Drive info: 13 plays, 85 yds in 3:46 | 0 | 7 | TD | 7:26 | Keith Price rush for 5 yards for a TOUCHDOWN. Erik Folk extra point GOOD.scores.espn.go.com
- Why Is No One Attacking Romney?
http://decoded.nationaljournal.com/2011/12/why-is-no-one-attacking-rom...White House Correspondent | E-Mail: mambinder@nationaljournal.com. Twitter:@marcambinder | Marc Ambinder is the White House Correspondent for National Journal Group. He also writes on intelligence and national security and is a contributing editor at The Atlantic.Read more... | Editorial Director | E-Mail: rbrownstein@nationaljournal.com.decoded.nationaljournal.com - Former Hewlett-Packard CEO Mark Hurd made brazen sexual overtures to actress, Gloria Allred's letter claims
http://www.mercurynews.com/business/ci_19641327By Brandon Bailey | bbailey@mercurynews.com | © Copyright 2011, Bay Area News Group | On the first day she worked for Hewlett-Packard (HPQ), then-CEO Mark Hurd took Jodie Fisher to dinner, touched her with his hand in a way that made her uncomfortable and asked her to spend the night in his room, according to a long-secret letter -- obtained Thursday by this newspaper -- that celebrity attorney Gloria Allred wrote on Fisher's behalf.www.mercurynews.com - Your Future Gravestone / Reason for your death
http://www.facebook.com/funport?sk=app_285852271465234Fun Port - This is just 4 fun. | Facebook | · English (US) | Mobile · Find Friends · Badges · People · Pages · About · Advertising · Create a Page · Developers · Careers · Privacy · Terms · Helpwww.facebook.com - NBA.com
http://www.nba.com/FRAN BLINEBURY The mantra has long been that the NBA regular season is a marathon, not a sprint. Except in this shortened year. | JOHN SCHUHMANN Numbers are put to the test to help answer six questions regarding six of the best teams in the league. | HANG TIME BLOG After a gutsy performance against the proven Celtics, Heat rookie Norris Cole has his teammates' trust and is making an early case for steal of the Draft.www.nba.com - New laws target abortion, immigration, alcohol and animals
http://www.cnn.com/2011/12/29/us/new-laws-2012/index.html?hpt=hp_c1(CNN) -- New laws going into effect Sunday cover some of the nation's most contentious issues, from immigration to abortion, while others deal with tanning beds, tuition and where you can sell a pet. | In all, nearly 40,000 laws were enacted in 2011, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures. Some take effect New Year's Day.www.cnn.com - http://money.cnn.com/2011/12/29/news/companies/sears_stores_closing/in...NEW YORK (CNNMoney) -- Sears Holdings has released a partial list of the Sears and Kmart stores set to close as a result of the company's poor sales this holiday season. Sears (SHLD, Fortune 500) said earlier this week that it planned to close between 100 and 120 stores at an unspecified time in the near future. | On Thursday, the firm released a list of 79 that are set to be shuttered nationwide.money.cnn.com
- New Hampshire looks like Romney’s granite fortress
http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/new-hampshire-looks-like-romney...MANCHESTER, N.H. | No matter what happens in Iowa, Mitt Romney has a safety net in New Hampshire. | And that could rank as the year's most perilous sentence. Why shouldn't Romney be surprised in the state that temporarily derailed Barack Obama's supposedly rapid march toward nomination four years ago? Hillary Clinton humbled many a pundit here in 2008, reason enough to challenge the rapidly jelling conventional wisdom about the Republican presidential campaign.www.washingtonpost.com - Got milk? Target does! Readers share stories from the Target nurse-in
http://moms.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/12/29/9805898-got-milk-targ...TODAYMoms - Got milk? Target does! Readers share stories from the Target nurse-in RSS MSN Hotmail More Autos My MSN Video Careers & Jobs Personals Weather Delish Quotes White Pages Games Real Estate Wonderwall Horoscopes Shopping Yellow Pages Local Edition Traffic Feedback Maps & Directions Travel Full MSN Index Bing msnbc.com sites & shows: TODAY Rock Center Nightly News Meet the Press Dateline Morning Joe Hardball Ed Maddow The Last Word msnbc tv People Entertainment Food Health Money Travel Books Petsmoms.today.msnbc.msn.com







